I wasn’t sure what to expect going into this film but I had absolutely no idea that it was going to be so relentlessly boring. It was one of those films where you keep waiting for something to happen, but it never does. It just keep meandering on with nothing of real interest happening. The film is so mind numbingly boring that I couldn’t even remember the name of the main character until I went to the film’s Wikipedia page. Anyway, the main character, Blake, who is meant to be Cobain, spends most of the film wandering around his mansion muttering incoherently to himself. When he’s not wandering around his mansion muttering incoherently to himself, he’s wandering around the woods near his mansion muttering incoherently to himself.

The film contains very little dialogue or action and ends up being a very hollow, empty experience. Gus Van Sant is a skilled filmmaker so I can only imagine that this was his intention. Why he chose to make this film escapes me. The Wikipedia page says that he thought about this film for nearly a decade before making it. Well, to be honest, this is one film that should have stayed in Van Sant’s head because inflicting a film this monumentally boring on an unsuspecting public is just cruel. Not nice Gus!

It’s not often that I want my hour and a half back after watching a film, but that was my first thought after the end credits started to roll on Last Days. This is quite possibly one of the most boring films ever made. Avoid at all costs… unless, of course, you’re looking for something to put you to sleep.

I must admit, I was looking forward to this film. I liked David Fincher’s visual style. Dark and moody. Great use of shadows and low angles. He was someone who really revelled in film as a visual medium.

But there’s nothing like that in Benjamin Button. It feels like it’s been directed by Robert Redford. A perpetual yellow, nostalgic glow and lots of long takes with dull composition. That, on its own, was enough to put me to sleep… but then there’s the story! Yes folks, it gets worse.

Benjamin Button is like Forrest Gump, but in reverse and twice as slow. I kept waiting for something to happen, but it never did. Benjamin spends a lot of time waiting but doing very little. Fincher obviously thought that the novelty of a person aging in reverse would carry this film. It might have, if it was a fifteen minute film. But it isn’t. It’s almost three agonising hours.I persisted with it, long after I would have given up on it had it been directed by someone I’ve never heard of. But because of the Fincher factor I kept waiting for some kind of payoff. Something that made it all add up to something other than a big, syrupy pile of shit. But it never came. I felt like I’d been stood up.

So screw you David Fincher! Your sycophantic Academy Award grovelling makes my stomach churn. Get back to doing what you do best and leave this kind of crap to Robert Redford or Ron Howard.

But this post is all about the movie The Dark Knight, starring the now deceased Heath Ledger and directed by Christopher Nolan. The most important thing to note about this movie is that it is terribly boring. I only made it about half way through before giving up, but that’s all it deserved. Surely there was just more boredom to come? It was late at night when I watched it and I was tired but that’s no excuse. If it was a rivetting film I would have stayed up and watched it all the way to the end. But it wasn’t. It was dull and disappointing. It was a series of mildly entertaining action sequences strung together by lots of long boring bits. The plot didn’t interest me. The acting didn’t excite me. It was a bloated, boring, self important comic book movie that should have been a whole lot more entertaining, but wasn’t. Even the actors looked bored. It probably bored poor Heath Ledger to death. He certainly didn’t deserve to win an Academy Award – alive or dead.

In fact, The Dark Knight was so boring that it motivated me to register this domain name and start a blog about all things boring. The only other movie I have seen recently that is just as boring was The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. However, I won’t go into that now as it’s probably going to be the subject of another blog entry.

Unless you’re a huge Batman fan, I implore you to avoid The Dark Knight. It’s a boring movie that doesn’t deserve to be seen. How it made a billion dollars worldwide at the box office absolutely confounds me. All I can put it down to is clever marketing and a lot of people wanting to see Heath Ledger’s final film.

Very disappointing.